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a guide to self love by mindkitblog

What is Love? A 3 Steps Guide to Self Love

What is love? Do you believe in the existence of love?

Is it the love that comes from a mother to her child, or the love from a father to his family?

True love is a 5 years old kid that needs his mom when he falls from his bike. Love is felt when a 23 year old girl works under pressure 9 consecutive hours, and then goes to a place where there is no human except the voice of the silent breeze and the light of the stars. Here she falls in love with relaxation.

To achieve real love you should go into some essential phases in your life.

You first love your friend in kindergarten, then they’ll go away, another love will appear in middle school, it will fade also. You may love many people through your life especially when you have a pure heart.

Then you will discover what real love is when you really love yourself first. Stay a while with no one in your life, love yourself, love your solitude, and then you will know what is self love.

When the moment comes, you will know what you really love to do with your time. Who are the people who lift you up when you’re down? Who are the people who really stay by your side when there is no one? Who are the people who really care about you?

Levels of Caring People

1) Self Love

All the questions above are answered within you. You are the first person who lifts yourself up when you’re down. You are the first one who stays with yourself when there is no one. You care about yourself; even when you think you don’t, believe me you do.

When you really love yourself, you will know yourself better. When you do, you will start a new life change. Here is when you know it.

But there is always something missing. You feel that you have everything but there are some things still missing in you.

Who is your other missing half?

What is Love? A 3 Steps Guide to Self Love 1

No one is perfect; none of the people you see on social media platforms, or people who have loads of money, none of them are perfect.

Life contains ups and downs. When you are down, just remember the things you have that others don’t. What are the things you love about yourself? What are the things that you have which other people don’t?

Even the small details in your life are essential to be loved. As I said before life is full of ups and downs. These small details will lift you up. Just “Scan your life details”.

But again remember that no one has ever gained perfection.

You came into this life with a second half that will make you perfect. This second half is your soul mate. This person who will come, and you will feel that the missing parts of you are in them. And vice versa the missing parts of them are in you.

Here you will know it.

You will know that this person is your true love, your other half and your other copy that will make you both perfect together.

X and Y will stay XY. A simple equation, you are so different from each other, everyone has his own mind. But you together make your perfect world. You have something missing, and they do also. You both complete your puzzle.

Every time you meet someone, look truly in them, if they are the same as you, then they are not your missing part. If they are different in a very unique way, and they have your missing parts, know that he/she is your missing part.

These people come into our lives to make it better. You may have a psychological problem. Let’s say you don’t trust anything that happens around you. Well these people will let you learn how to trust what needs to be trusted.

These people will help you love what needs to be loved. They will help you grow in so many different ways. And vice versa, you will help them complete their missing parts too. You will help them fix their flaws.


2) VIRGIN Love

Plato said that: “Love is a serious mental illness.”

He said so because love is an illusionist feeling.

It is a state of mind that many people go through because they have this feeling that it will complete them. And again it is just a feeling. It is called love. And again no one is complete and perfect. That’s why it is a mental illness.

VIRGIN love is the love that I first talked about, a daughter to her father and a son to his mother.

This is the true first love that comes into a child’s life.

When this love is broken, a serious psychological illness will arrive into the mind of the human being which is broken.

That’s why 70% of people don’t believe in love.

In every human beings’ life, some problems may appear between you as a teenager and your parents. In this phase, this psychological illness may appear. Although parents are the only people who will ever love their children forever.

Teenagers come out from this phase when they skip the teenage phase.

When they become 23 or 24 years old or maybe 25, they will know how much their parents love them. And they will love them even more and more.

Many things happen during life even with parents. Especially when parents get married at a young age, and they don’t know that they are not soul mates. They will face some troubles with their own life, which will affect their children’s brains and lives. Especially when they won’t know how to solve these problems in the right way.

That’s why it is essential to love yourself first, before having the love feeling towards someone, or it will be false.

If you didn’t love yourself before having kids, be sure that you will somehow damage your children’s life and brain.

Loving yourself is a really essential step in your life. I wish all people would start loving their selves in the right way. Because when they do, the world will be freed from negative energy.

3 Steps to Love Your Self

the first step to self love

STEP ONE: Wake up every morning and ask yourself these 5 questions.

  • Why am I beautiful?
  • What are the special things in me?
  • How am I spending my time?
  • Where is my right place in this life?
  • Who is my leader?

Example of answering these questions:

  • Why am I beautiful?

Well, first I am different, no one looks like me, so I am beautiful. No one thinks the way I do, and no one has my ideas.

Two, I am beautiful because I really have a good heart, I love peaceful places, and I am willing to live in a peaceful world just to be satisfied. This is indeed a beauty.

  • What are the special things in me?

Start listing your skills, for example. I know how to swim, not all people know this. I know how to affect people in a positive way. I have a very nice smile. My eyes are special. My mind is special; no one has a mind like mine. And so on. List at least 3 special things in you that no one has.

  • How am I spending my time?

I wake up in the morning, I drink some coffee, eat some food and then practice my yoga, or I stretch. I get dressed and go to work. I make new relations. I get some tasty stuff to eat to release my stress.

Try listing the things you do daily, whatever they are. Then see if these things will be beneficial to you in 5 years from now. If they are not, then try creating new ones that would be beneficial for you.

  • Where is my right place in this life?

You may not know how to answer this question, so you will start thinking.

For example, my right place is working from home, with my kids around. Letting them learn every day new things about themselves, and about life.

Anyone else would think maybe that their right place is being teachers, or leaders, or even huge business owners.

This question will help you define your future self, and how to love yourself in the right way which will lead you to your satisfaction.

  • Who is my leader?

My leader is my mind, when I think of something; I just do it because my instincts tell me to do so.

Know that your instincts are true. If you doubt some things, don’t do them. If you are sure of things, just do them. Even if they are wrong, remember that it was a lesson, so learn. Your instincts lead you to a wrong decision to teach you something.

love your self by gaining some space

STEP TWO: Gain some space

If you are an introvert, you will know how to have space. If you are an extrovert, you will be having trouble gaining space. When you sit alone with nothing to do, you will feel lonely. Loneliness is a phase where you feel that there is no one to talk to.

But you forgot something, that you are the first person you can talk to because you are the only one that understands you very well.

You may not talk to yourself in a loud voice. Try having a conversation with yourself in your mind. While sitting alone, enjoy your time. There are many things to think of. You may think about anything that comes on your mind freely, and have a conversation with yourself in your mind freely, without any interruptions.

In this way you will really start discovering yourself.

When you do so you will start loving yourself.

Love your loneliness.

After that you will not feel sad when you are alone. It’s the other way around, you will feel a boost of confidence, and you’ll become strong.

Start doing the stuff you do with other people alone. For example, go to cinema theaters alone and enjoy your company, discover how you love these things, ask yourself the questions you would ask to any person sitting with you. Comment on stuff with yourself, notice your smile and enjoy it.

You may do everything alone, if you hated it at first, try it the second time, and the third. Eventually you will know what do I mean by no one is there for you except yourself. Embrace it.

When you start enjoying your time alone, it will be addictive. You will enjoy everything else more and more because you will start viewing things differently. You will start viewing things in your really first point of view, without caring about what other people say. You will know what you really want in everything related to your life.

self love tips

STEP THREE: Make a list

After answering the questions above, and after gaining your own space and having your own world, you will know.

You will know who you are truly. What do you love? What do you do? How do you think?

You will discover much stuff.

When you do so, make a list of the things you will benefit from 5 years ahead.

Do a list of the positive and the negative stuff.

Observe the things you do and write them down. Oh yes you have many free time to do so you know.

It will take some time, but you can do it of course because it is so easy.

Go to your notes, categories a positive page and a negative one.

For example, I drink coffee every morning. Ask yourself; is it beneficial for me after 5 years from now? Am I going to be addicted to caffeine? Is it the reason why I am energized at times, then so tired at other times?

Well, yes it is the reason.

So put it in the negative section. And replace it with another thing, for instance juice, or a healthy meal, or water. Much stuff you can replace coffee with that would boost your energy and will keep you energized for the rest of the day.

This is a one example, go on with all your habits that you do and make the positive list rich.

You will then start the first step of self-love.

When you get used to these three things that will help you love yourself, you will find the meaning of love which is a serious mental illness, but a beautiful one. “Why does Socrates call love madness?” a true philosophy of love.  So why not calling illness a positive thing?

How did I love My Self?

A short encouraging story about “how did I love my self?”

I used to always care about what other people think of me. How did I talk? What did I wear? And how do I make others love me?

I realized that I’m going through a kind of depression. Someone once told me to love my depression to the maximum. So I started going for a walk with my self, thinking about everything I see while walking. Thinking about the reason of my depression. Another thing I did is going to movie theaters alone. I always wanted to watch nice movies with someone, but there was no one accepting my invitation. So I went alone. I enjoyed it many times. I saw that I needed quality time more often. If not at movie theaters, and not by walking alone, then at home. 

While walking, I used to listen to music. I realized that I really love music. I realized too many things also.

The first one is that no one is there for you, except your self. Two, no one cares what you wear or how do you look. Humans in general, only care about them selves and their needs. So why don’t I practice self love and self care by being my self? But remember, there is a very big difference in loving your self and being selfish. If you love your self, you will love and enjoy everything else, and that is not “selfish”.

Myassar Itani

Lived in Beirut, Lebanon, THIS IS NO BORING, Helped my mother and grandmother at home from age 8 till 24 years. Learned how to cook, clean, raise a baby... Worked at supermarkets from age 16 till 24 years. I will guide you through the experiences I acquired, which I turned into creative ideas. Step by step and in detail, So stay tuned and subscribe!

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